Dogma: What is true is that there is no Truth and meaning is meaningless (Never mind that this statement logically entails the refutation of everything that follows, including this sentence).
Commandments: Do not judge, except to judge those who judge. Do not tolerate intolerance.
Ritual: The perpetual blood-sacrifice of abortion at the altar of Self-Actualization in the name of the goddess Choice is the required ritual that demands either direct participation or warm celebration.
Ideology: The Left is always right and the Right is always wrong (everybody together now!). If a man says that he is a poached-egg, then by golly, he is a poached-egg and stop hating him by telling him he’s not. The individual defines what is and what isn’t for both himself and everyone who comes in contact with him, unless of course another individual has a contradicting definition for himself, at which point we are not sure what happens. So if you just put your mind to it and clarify your definitions then you can fly around the world like superman, so don’t let anybody tell you that you can’t.
Urgent Message: Mother Nature, the impersonal personality to be thanked for the existence of all that exists, has consigned mankind to judgment by natural disaster and the melting of polar ice caps for his misuse and abuse of her Creation, whoops, I mean her Evolution. This will continue to happen until he repents in dust and the ashes of his non-sustainable inventions. If you question the premise of this statement, we will judge you and not tolerate you. Stop looking up at the commandments.
The Gospel (Good News): It is not too late to break the hockey stick. This noble endeavor is something that we should devote every last radio and TV segment to—in addition to all forthcoming presidential addresses—in order to end Global Warming. Or is it Global Cooling? This should be pursued even if, especially if, this means the genocide of entire generations, because let’s face it, they would make life much harder for us anyway. Once accomplished, peace shall come upon the earth and good will shall miraculously, I mean naturally, emanate from the hearts of all men and everyone will become a millionaire instantaneously. Sound apocalyptic? Good. Wanna buy a smart car?